Wednesday, July 07, 2010
WOW! Its been way too long since I sat in front of this screen and wrote an update. I always must start with a thank you to all of you who asks for updates, who call for updates, who sends messages and for your ongoing support through good and bad.
Today we got our results from last week’s MRI. It was good, for the most part. The tumor has not grown, nor shrunk, therefore “stable”. That is now my favorite word. It brings me peace. I oh so have this wish that we walk into the doctor’s office and hear the words “the tumor is smaller", better yet, "the tumor is gone". But I have now come to terms that, that may never happen, so for now “stable” is a word of comfort to me, to Jason and to Jacob.
A couple of months ago, we had somewhat of a little scare. Jacob was having headaches, balance issues, throwing up, all the symptoms that leads to possibly growth in the tumor. I was scared. Actually, I was petrified. I kept it all in but when they ordered a emergency CT SCAN, my heart sank. It could have been his shunt, it could have been the tumor. Turns out it was a severe infection is his mastoid bone. Untreated, it could be fatal. But we caught it. It was treated and seemed to be gone. The MRI showed that the infection had spread to his sinuses. The pictures weren’t clear. So now we treat that and hope it goes away. If it doesn’t could be the sign of something worse, but for now, we treated and hope that it goes away.
Today was one of those days where I realize that my son could potentially die. I don’t forget it…ever….but somedays I see strength in him I hope will keep him going for years to come.
In the waiting room today, I was chatting with a mother who’s son is “terminal”. She’s seen the inside of Roger’s House which I hope to NEVER have to see. But her story today hit close to home. We talked. We cried. She told me she is ready, as ready as can be for “that” day. How can anyone be ready? Then I saw her son come out of the room and there he was…fighting for another day. I hope that’s Jacob. She told me that she always felt in her heart that her son would be “the success story”. I hope that’s Jacob. I have visions of sending him off to College. I have visions of walking him down the aisle. I have visions of seeing him go on to grade 2. I have visions. I want those visions to come true.
For now, we will not worry. For now, we will treat the infection. For now, I will wake up every morning to “good morning mama”. For now, I will watch him swim his heart out this summer.
He is well. Actually he is great. He is strong, he is eating, he is running, he is playing, he is talking. For now, he is here. I love him so so so so much., I just love him.
We truly are in a happy place right now. Jacob is great. Liam is fantastic!! He is happy, he is beautiful, he is part of my perfect world.
Jason is well. Still working hard. I am getting ready to go back to my job that I have been away for almost two years in September. For now, I will enjoy the summer with my boys and again not take a minute of that time for granted.
Thank you so much to all of you and I say this with the most sincerity. Thank you! To all of you for letting my family into yours.
