Prayers for Jidou

Thursday, August 6th 2009.

Hello,
Tonight, i feel the need the write because my heart is very sad. I have an overpowering sadness. Tonight, i don't write about Jacob. I write about my father. My father is very ill and tonight in emerg we heard the word "Terminal" a few times and was asked if we had thought of palliative care. It brought back memories of those questions asked of Jacob which wasn't that long ago but seems like forever ago.

I write to you all about my father because he is Jacob's grandfather and is part of Jacob's Journey. He is a wonderful man. He has been there from the very begining. Visited Jacob EVERY DAY in the hopsital as hard as it was for him to walk in that room and he his 5 year old first grandson sick with cancer.

My father has cancer. Ironically, he also has brain tumors. He was doing relatively well up until a couple of weeks ago. Now, he is barely able to talk, is no longer able to walk and is slowly leaving us. When I told Jacob about "jidou" being very sick and will be going to heaven someday he turned to me and said "but i dont want him to leave". He understand what's going on. A typical 5 year old shouldn't really get what's happening but Jacob, does. 

I cried alot today. hadn't cried like this in quite some time because in this house, we are happy. But today, i cry. I cry for the man who has worked so hard my entire life to raise and take care of his 4 daughters and his wife. I cry for the man whom i never thought we'd leave me but will someday say goodbye.

Saturday we have jacob's welcome home party. My father was suppose to be there but now i don't think he will make it to the house. It will be hard to be celebrating life when another is being slowly taken away but we must celebrate Jacob. We must celebrate how strong he was and is to have lived to see another day. 

For all of you who believe in prayer, i ask that you say one for my father. I ask that, today, you think of him and say a prayer for him as you all have for Jacob so many times.

I love you Baba.