Jacob's World

Sunday, February 23rd 2009.

I am happy to say today was good day. Well, a good day for Jacob is not vomiting and not in so much discomfort that he needs morphine every two hours. So today was a good day. He was tired and weak but awake and talkative and we even went outside this evening for about 10 minutes for some fresh air. I love these days, days where we actually see light at the end of the tunnel. The complications are all still there but to see him like this is refreshing. 

Jason and I actually got to go out for dinner. We were gone an hour but my sister sat with Jacob while we spent the entire time talking about how wonderful our son is...lol

Tonight I am doing another overnight. Nights scare me. They scare me to the point where I get little panic attacks and don't want to fall asleep. It seems he just gets so sick as soon as the lights turn off. But i am here ready to face another night with Jacob. Daddy is feeling under the weather. He is burning out and I can feel it but he never says anything. I can't afford to lose him, he is my rock, more importantly Jacob's world right now and without daddy we cannot get through this. I can't seem to say it enough but as bad as this situation is and as much as i wish we weren't going through it, i am glad Jason is the one I am going through it with. i am glad he is Jacob's father because if you all could only see them together and the look in each other's eyes......its what keeps me going. 

here's to a goodnight tonight!! 

And to all you have shed tears with me. I thank you. I thank you for feeling our pain, our fears and the love for our child. i thank you from the bottom of my broken heart.